Managing transitions, such as starting daycare or preschool

Starting daycare or preschool is a big milestone—for your child and for you. It marks the beginning of a new chapter filled with learning, friendships, and growing independence. But like any major transition, it can also bring uncertainty, big feelings, and challenges.

Whether your child is shy or outgoing, excited or anxious, the adjustment takes time—and your support plays a crucial role. In this article, we’ll walk you through how to prepare your child emotionally, practically, and gently for starting daycare or preschool, so you can both feel confident and connected through the change.

Why Transitions Are Hard for Young Children

Young children thrive on routine, predictability, and familiar faces. A shift like starting daycare or preschool can feel overwhelming because:

• They’re separating from you for longer periods
• They’re entering a new environment with unfamiliar people and rules
• Their daily routines may change (e.g. nap time, snacks, potty routine)
• They may not yet have the language to express their feelings

Understanding these challenges can help you meet them with empathy, not frustration.

Signs Your Child May Be Struggling with the Transition

Some children adjust quickly. Others show signs of stress, including:

• Clinginess at drop-off
• Sleep disturbances
• Moodiness or tantrums at home
• Regressions (e.g., in potty training or independence)
• Tummy aches or headaches (especially in older toddlers)

These behaviors are normal and often temporary. They’re your child’s way of asking for reassurance and connection during a time of change.

How to Prepare Your Child Before the First Day

1. Start talking early
Talk about daycare or preschool in a positive, simple way. Use phrases like, “You’ll play with other kids,” or “There will be toys, books, and new friends.” Keep the tone upbeat and avoid too much detail, which can be overwhelming.

2. Read books about starting school
Storybooks like Llama Llama Misses Mama or The Kissing Hand can help your child understand what to expect and feel less alone in their feelings.

3. Practice separation
Begin by leaving your child with a trusted caregiver or family member for short periods. Let them see that you always come back, which builds trust and resilience.

4. Create a goodbye ritual
A special hug, a high five, or a “see-you-soon” phrase can become a comforting routine. Rituals give children a sense of control and predictability.

5. Visit the center together
If possible, take a tour or do a trial visit. Let your child explore the space, meet their teacher, and see the toys. Familiarity eases anxiety.

Making Drop-Offs Easier

1. Keep it short and consistent
Lingering too long can heighten anxiety. Offer a warm, confident goodbye and stick to the same routine every day. Children pick up on your energy—if you’re calm and reassuring, they feel safer.

2. Validate their feelings
It’s okay to say, “I know this is hard,” or “You wish I could stay.” Naming their emotions shows empathy and teaches them that feelings are safe to express.

3. Stay connected during the day
If allowed, pack a family photo or a small transitional object (like a soft toy or something from home). These small comforts can make a big difference.

Supporting Your Child After the Day Is Over

1. Allow decompression time
After a day of new experiences, your child might need quiet time, cuddles, or space to play freely. Don’t expect them to launch into stories about their day right away.

2. Ask open-ended questions
Instead of “What did you do today?” try “What made you laugh today?” or “What was the best thing about school?” These prompts are more likely to spark conversation.

3. Keep home routines stable
Maintaining bedtime, meals, and other routines helps your child feel secure when everything else feels new.

How Long Does It Take to Adjust?

Every child is different. Some may adjust within a few days, while others may need weeks or even months to feel fully comfortable. What’s most important is that you stay patient, emotionally available, and responsive.

If your child is still extremely distressed after several weeks, it’s worth talking to the educators or your pediatrician for additional support.

Transitions like starting daycare or preschool are big, brave steps in your child’s life. They come with a swirl of emotions—excitement, fear, sadness, curiosity—and all of them are valid.

By preparing gently, showing empathy, and being consistent in your support, you give your child the tools to navigate this transition with resilience and trust. You’re not just getting them ready for school—you’re laying the foundation for a lifetime of confident transitions.