Coping with anxiety about childbirth

It’s perfectly normal to feel anxious about giving birth—whether it’s your first baby or your fourth.
Childbirth brings a swirl of emotions: anticipation, excitement, fear, uncertainty, and sometimes overwhelming worry.

You’re not weak for feeling this way. You’re human. And you’re not alone.

This article is here to gently walk you through the sources of anxiety around childbirth and offer calming, practical strategies to help you feel more grounded, informed, and supported as your big day approaches.

Why Anxiety About Birth Happens

There’s no single cause of childbirth anxiety. It might come from:

• Fear of pain or complications
• Past traumatic birth experiences
• Fear of medical interventions (like C-sections or epidurals)
• Worry about being in a hospital or around unfamiliar people
• Feeling out of control or unsure what to expect
• Cultural narratives that focus on fear over strength

Understanding where your anxiety comes from is the first step in softening its grip.

You’re Not Alone in Feeling This Way

Studies show that up to 80% of pregnant women experience some degree of fear or anxiety about childbirth, and around 14% experience intense fear, known as tokophobia.

But here’s the good news: anxiety doesn’t define your ability to birth. And there are compassionate, evidence-backed ways to feel more in control and less overwhelmed.

Practical Ways to Cope with Birth Anxiety

1. Get Informed—But Mindfully
Understanding the birth process can reduce fear of the unknown.
Consider:

• Attending childbirth classes (in person or online)
• Reading books or watching videos from trusted, empowering sources
• Asking your care provider what to expect at your hospital or birth centre

Avoid spiralling down internet rabbit holes or graphic birth videos that spike fear rather than offer real help. Choose sources that centre calm, facts, and encouragement.

2. Create a Birth Plan That Feels Like You
A birth plan doesn’t need to be rigid—but outlining your preferences can give you a greater sense of control.

Consider including:

• Pain relief options you’re open to
• Who you want in the room
• Preferred positions or environment (music, lighting)
• Immediate postpartum preferences (skin-to-skin, delayed cord clamping)

Knowing your wishes are documented and discussed with your care team can bring enormous peace of mind.

3. Learn and Practice Calming Techniques
Techniques that engage your nervous system can lower anxiety both during pregnancy and in labour:

• Deep belly breathing (inhale 4 counts, exhale 6)
• Mindfulness or pregnancy meditations
• Gentle movement like prenatal yoga
• Visualisation of a positive birth experience
• Soothing affirmations (e.g., “Each wave brings me closer to meeting my baby.”)

Try practising these regularly so they become second nature.

4. Talk to Someone You Trust
Sometimes the act of saying your fears out loud is what makes them shrink.

Open up to:

• Your partner
• A trusted friend or fellow mum
• A midwife or doula
• A counsellor or perinatal psychologist

You deserve to be heard without judgment. What feels heavy inside can feel lighter when shared.

5. Surround Yourself with Supportive Birth Stories
There’s incredible power in hearing real, positive birth stories. Seek out communities, podcasts, or forums that share empowering, honest experiences—not just worst-case scenarios.

Positive stories can help rewire your beliefs about what’s possible and remind you: birth can be beautiful, transformative, and supported.

6. Consider a Doula or Birth Support Person
Having someone by your side who understands birth—emotionally and practically—can make a world of difference.

Doulas offer continuous support during labour, and research shows they help reduce the need for medical interventions and increase satisfaction with birth experiences.

If a doula isn’t accessible, speak with your partner or support person about how to advocate for your wishes and create a calm presence in the birth space.

7. Take Care of Your Emotional Health Now
If anxiety is interfering with your sleep, eating, relationships, or daily functioning, you may benefit from professional support.

Ask your GP or midwife for a referral to a perinatal counsellor or mental health service. You don’t need to wait until things feel unmanageable—early support can change everything.

What If I Still Feel Afraid?

You can feel anxious and still have a positive birth.
Courage isn’t the absence of fear—it’s moving forward with love and support, even when fear is present.

Repeat this to yourself often:
I can feel fear and still move forward.
I am supported.
I trust my body and my baby.

Final Thoughts

Feeling anxious about childbirth doesn’t make you unprepared or incapable. It makes you aware, loving, and human.

Lean into your village, gather your tools, and know that you’re stepping into one of life’s most powerful and raw experiences. With the right knowledge, support, and self-compassion, you can move from fear to readiness—on your terms.